this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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