Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
