So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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