i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
