i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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