ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
