i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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