Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize