youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
