Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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