why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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