i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
We have started to decorate penises.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
