so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
