Will you blow on my dice?
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
