i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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