Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Everclear isn't food dammit
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