your room smells of hookers.
And success
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
