I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
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Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
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I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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