im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
