Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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