so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
well you can't waste a boner
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize