did you get engaged???
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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