next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.