So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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