So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize