You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
