you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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