How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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