But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
