Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
