Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
