Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
