I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
