I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We need a shit load of segways right now
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
