he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Blood and glitter go together right?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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