i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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