You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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