I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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