what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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