i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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