He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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