I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
