i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
