i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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