Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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