don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
