I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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