i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
