sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
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My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
We are all done wearing pants today
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It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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