i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
