fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
