this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
handjob tips. give me some.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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