a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
