I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
