hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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