Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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